Monday, December 17, 2012

I feel like I'm forgetting something

This is the first Monday in many, many Mondays that I haven't been to the doctor for a chemo treatment or a doctor appointment.

I feel a little weird. Like I'm forgetting something.

Well, actually, I'm forgetting a lot of things. Chemo brain, you know. I suspect this will be this way for a while, so I better get better at writing everything down.

First, I have to REMEMBER to write things down.

No. First, I need a place to to write it. And I keep forgetting to buy that, too!

Before  chemo, maybe a year or so ago, I had a magnetic "grocery list" on the refrigerator. Then it ran out of paper and I forgot to replace it. I bought it at the grocery store that I go to just about every day, sometimes even twice a day. And I keep forgetting to buy it. Because it isn't on a list. Because I don't have the paper to create the list.

Do you see where this is going?

Yep, nowhere, fast.

So I decided today, after forgetting yet again to buy the magnetic grocery list at the grocery store, to write what I need on the back of a deposit slip in my checkbook. That is always with me when I go to the store (although there have been many times, lately, that I have checked my purse three or four times to make sure I didn't forget my checkbook).

Now, I only need to remember that, that is where my list is!

Yes, chemo brain is definitely real. I am not only experiencing it, but apparently researchers have studied it and get this: People who have had chemo, particularly for things like breast cancer, have smaller brains. (No smart remarks from the big-brained section, please!)

Yep. My brain has shrunk. To be honest, it kinda sucks for someone who is supposed to be coming up with words for a living.

Sometimes I get really frustrated when the words in my smaller brain won't come out of my same-sized mouth.

I could be this way for a little while, or a very long while. But either way, I guess it's better than the alternative; not being here at all.

And at least I didn't forget that I DIDN'T have a doctor appointment today, for the first time in many, many Mondays! See, there's always a bright side to everything!

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